Periodically, myself the author of an explosives and controversial memoir “Forbidden Love with a Married Man; E-Mail Diaries.” and founder of several support groups and international lecturer, receives e-mails from the “other man” or the “other woman”. These terms, because of their link to an affair outside the marriage, tend to have a stigma attached to them. Perhaps their rights will change with time.
These people, emotionally or romantically attached to another person who is already married, are often more concerned about the well being of that person, than about their own well being. That is ok to a point, but there is an old saying:
“Never, ever get involved with a married person”
This paints a particularly black picture, but this is deliberate.
Many single people become the “other person” in a love triangle because of what their heart is telling them, but more often than not, because they do not know the whole truth about their new friend, who has withheld the information that they are already married. This is where the lies start. They are not necessarily intentional lies – they are what they want the other person to hear.
With the discovery of the marital status, there could be promises that the married person will leave their spouse and children, and come and live with the “other man or person”. Such promises are rarely fulfilled.
The reason for never ever getting involved with a married person is that in the majority of cases, the married person will never leave the marital nest unless forced to do so. They want their cake and eat it too.
This can lead to a lot of pain and hurt for the “other man”, to frustration and to lost time, when they could be perhaps finding someone else who is not married to spend their life with.
So think twice, unless you are married yourself, to becoming the “other man”. That “other person–man” has feelings just like anyone else. Trust me. I was there. I have published diary to prove it…!!!
Be Safe-
Dennis J. Schleicher
author of “Forbidden Love with a Married Man; E-Mail Diaries”
gayhusbands
October 25, 2007 at 1:29 AM |
January 14, 2008 at 2:58 PM |
Very interesting! I wish there had been so many sites when my husband FINALLY admitted he was gay two…or is it three? years ago this June. No, I never suspected a thing until he left me….lawsy, I’m adorable, why would anyone leave me? My guy is uber ethical so his gay experience was less than 0.00001% before he left me and that little slap and tickle is why he moved out….it was a veddy veddy deep closet. Now he’s living with someone who makes him very happy….who could ask for more for him?
Anyway, all the sites I found but one…sent to me by a very nice gay man I’d fought side by side on a board that was filled with people against gay marriage…had the attitude that all women wondered how they turned their husbands gay and other such full of -ahem- theories. How wonderful a super power would THAT be? Not to mention the stunning outfit…sigh.
Trust me, I couldn’t get him to remember to call when he was on his way home so I could have dinner on the table after 30ish years so I doubt I could have made him -xxxx- another man unless he wanted to. If I could manage that all I have to say is….tommorrow the world!
While I’ll admit I’m not your average female…or person for that matter….at the time I was desperate to find some information because I was convinced I was not alone. What a difference a few years has made.
Again, wonderful to have found you and thank you very much!
January 14, 2008 at 3:02 PM |
Whoops, sorry….My gay on-line friend and I were fighting the good fight FOR the right of gay and lesbian people to marry. Not that it should be required, just that everyone in Canada deserve the same rights under the law and their sexual orientation has nothing at all to do with those rights.
He was my guardian “angel”…so to speak.