Right now in America there are over 2 million couples secretly struggling with homosexuality in their marriages. Are you one of them? Are you having intimacy issues? Are you suspicious about your husband’s late night activities? Or are you oblivious to a problem that could be putting your health and the livelihood of your family at risk? Don’t tell yourself that you’re simply being paranoid without taking a closer look!

Homosexuality can pop up at any time during a long-term relationship. Your spouse may have been experimenting with the “gay lifestyle” even before you met. Maybe he’s just using you as unwitting cover as he seeks playmates in the heterosexual world. For these types, the shame of being “outed” is so great that they will go to any extremes to hide their lustful activities, even tricking a straight woman to marry them to appear so-called NORMAL in society. Sometimes it’s the nervous family who has rushed a young man into marriage out of a fear that his secret will be exposed. For others, homosexuality can appear later in life when men crave some escape from the monotony of careers and home life. Same-sex experimentation is also connected to drinking alcohol abuse as some narcotics are proven to lower inhibitions and to drive people to take risks to feed their true same sex feelings.

Post Your Comments and Tell Others what You Think…

Be Safe~ Dennis Schleicher

Author of; Forbidden Love with a Married Man: E-mail Diaries (Best-selling author of an explosives and controversial memoir)

 Do you feel like you’re living a lie? Are you keeping a secret from your family and friends?

Are you ready to come clean and share your story? From the Producers of the hit show “Intervention” and a Major Cable Network comes a new documentary series about people who live double lives.

We are searching for people that are keeping a major secret from their loved ones, co-workers and friends.

In the documentary TV series we will explore the worlds of everyday people who are living a double life and how, through the help of a therapist, their lives change after they expose their secret.

This is a positive show providing expert help. Those who are selected to participate will receive monetary comensation and free therapy. Anyone and everyone who meets the criteria is encouraged to apply.  Have friends that need help?  Tell us about it and how it is affecting your life keeping the lie for them. 

If you are keeping a major secret from the ones you love the most and would like some help sharing your story, please email a brief description of your situation to: casting.jennifer@gmail.com

Please also include the following:

Name

Location / City

Contact Number(s)

Photo

*This is a Nationwide Casting

We all have a deep longing then unforeseen events conspire to manifest it as a partnership with a woman. Gay Husband!

I’ve seen others come up with solutions to life big challenge.

Most of us simply dismiss these events as events as coincidence. The mistake is made not taking a closer look, for the word “coincidence” means happening at the same time, and these moments are actually glimpses of a place where everything happens at the same time, or synchronistically, a place where our past and present future are one.

Tell us what you have done to be honest in filling your every desire.

Be Safe~ Dennis

While some people have argued that a marriage can survive with one heterosexual spouse and one gay spouse, the majority of research points in the opposite direction.

There are certain instances of women discovering that a husband is homosexual and still accepting him as a gay spouse. This is seen most particularly in a scenario where children are involved-wife wants to keep the family together, no matter what it takes. The need for the children to have their father around and the desire to model a traditional family is often so overwhelming that some women place their mental health and emotional wellbeing at risk.

Be Safe-

Dennis Schleicher Author of; Forbidden Love with a Married Man

Tell Us What You Would Do?

http://www.OtherMan.typepad.com

An Escrow Account Has Been Set Up To Help with Legal Fees for Divorces Of Gay Husbands and Straight Wives
Due to popular demand and an overwhelming response from our readers I have been asked to start an escrow account to help assist with legal fees gay husbands and straight wives might incur during divorce and separation. I will keep you all up to date as to the amount of money we have raised I have started with the first donation of $100 from myself to the escrow account. This is how your donations will go to work:
• Legal fees to help pay for divorces when a husband comes out to his wife
• Legal fees to the straight spouse if she cannot afford representation
• Therapy & counseling sessions for uninsured straight spouses or gay husbands
• Therapy & counseling sessions for children and any family member affected
If you are in need of financial assistance please e-mail or call Dennis Schleicher directly. Thank you for all of your support.

Be safe, Dennis Schleicher

Power of Fear Leading to Closeted Gay Bi Married Husbands

Power of fear is at the basis of all negative emotions and actions.  It is why we lie, why we argue and have to be right all the time.  It’s the reason behind some people’s needs to be in control. It is the reason why people steal and the list goes on and on.  Controlling people are just very fearful people.  They may project a strong fearless front but that exactly what it is, it’s a front. They need to control their environment which generally plays out into their relationships as well because they become anxious or fearful if they things are not within their comfort zone.  I believe by knowing this about people it can empower you because you are likely actually stronger and less fearful than they are in reality.  Fear is the reason also of course why people choose to go into the closet, get married, developed a family or a house with a white picket fence in the SUV parked in the driveway and parked next to our BMW’s otherwise referred to as status symbols.

     A quote from chapter two of my memoir, “Forbidden Love with a Married Man; E-mail Diaries,” “typically, most children are brought up in a society where finding love in the opposite sex is bred into them.  They are taught to start a courtship, which will eventually lead to marriage and later on, children, a house with a white picket fence, a dog, an SUV and a double income family.”

     Fearing that we may lose the love and companionship that all humans need for healthy emotional survival on many levels, because society has deemed this so. I believe it is a healthy and productive exercise to whenever you are feeling dis-ease or discomfort to know that it is about fear. Therefore it is important that we take the time and trace back through our thoughts what it is that we are in fear of that is causing this discomfort.  Generally what we fear is the not knowing of the outcome of a circumstance which is again why gay people generally go into the closet at least at first.  Some obviously for longer periods and end up following social expectations and marry causing more victims of our fears.  Being fearful can lead us to be deceptive and dishonest in our communications with others, leading to closeted gay Bi married men.

     The most unfortunate issue about this is, we then don’t really have truly open hearted, rich and fulfilling relationships with people leaving us lonely in our private thoughts.  It is when we interact with people using our hearts we become less fearful and have more joyful lives. Leave the brain to math, science and technology when it comes to matters of relationships.  Use your heart openly and without fear as best you can. It takes practice. 

     Most generally what we fear as I stated is the consequence of what may happen if I were truthful.  The consequence is almost never as bad as we expect it to be.  We need to ask ourselves what is our greatest fear if I am honest.  What is the very worst thing that can happen we need to ask ourselves?  Can we then survive the consequence of being truthful about our true selves and our true thoughts? The answer to that is, of course we can survive. There may be a period of discomfort. Even serious discomfort but we will survive.  People that choose suicide rather than being truthful about their true selves are choosing a permanent solution to a temporary problem. 

    It is also a self act because it leaves the survivors unable to heal because they will always wonder what they could have done differently to prevent the tragedy.  Always remember is not always necessary to be right.  To we want peace or to we want to be right? Pick your battles carefully and use civility throughout the conflict resolution process.  Never name call. That is about control which is another word for fear.   Our fear in conflicts in not being right is generally about looking or feeling foolish. You actually look more foolish by maintaining that you are right when it’s obvious that you are not and you are being foolish if it is a silly disagreement anyway.  Be true to yourself and you will then be able to be true to others. For those of you that cannot build up the courage to come out to those you love and are a integral part of your lives you are cheating yourself and them of really knowing each other’s hearts and souls.  When you are out you will not have to edit you life anymore which is not only demeaning but exhausting. Your true self has just as much value as anyone.  So come on people.  Start asking yourself some of these questions.  You can handle the outcome of the truth when it is revealed I promise.

     Be Safe-

     Dennis J. Schleicher

Forbidden Love with a Married Man: E-mail Diaries

Some of us are bisexual, some of us are gay, and some of us are trying to figure out who or what we are. Most of us are married, some of us are engaged to be married, some are separated, divorced or widowed. We are mostly living in North America, but we have members in countries around the world.

As bisexual and gay married men we face unique challenges in life unlike gay or bisexual single men. Whether we are in or out of the closet, we face discrimination everyday of our lives. We are accused of “fence sitting” by heterosexuals and homosexuals. If we are closeted, we must hide our feelings from our wives and others. If we are out, we must find a way to incorporate our feelings into our marriages and families whether or not we act on them. Some of us who are out have tremendously supportive wives. Others have had their marriages and families destroyed. Some of us have even lost our jobs.

How BMMA Functions Today’s technology allows one to participate in a vast array of electronic media, including this group. BMMA is an email list-serve which offers a unique way of dealing with the challenges we face daily. Messages posted by email to BMMA are read by our hundreds of members. Those who wish to offer support, suggestions, affirmation, challenges or further questions can post their response to the mailing list for all to see, or they may write to the original poster privately, off the list. Although friendships and even loves have developed between men who met through the list, BMMA is not a place to post personal ads. You may sign on to the mailing list and “lurk” for as long as you like. We hope you will soon feel like joining in the ongoing conversations, or begin a new “thread” of your own.

When you first post to the list, we suggest you start with a brief introduction of yourself. Share that which you are comfortable making public: Your first name or a nick-name, what part of the country (or world) you live in, your marital status, whether or not you are out to anyone, etc. You will find all BMMA brothers are or have been in a similar situation, and deeply respect one’s need for confidentiality and/or anonymity. The group has the potential for large volumes of mail, but a digest format is available. In the digest format you receive one email each day that contains all the posts in the prior 24 hours. Under the regular format you receive each message as it is posted. This group has proven very effective and has changed many lives for the better. Welcome to a world you never knew existed!

BMMA website; Bisexual Married Men of America – Safer Sex.org
Be Safe- Dennis Schleicher Author of; Forbidden Love with a Married Man: E-mail Diaries
Website; Support for The Other Man, Wives of Gay Men & Husbands of Straight Wives
Post your Comments;

How many gay people are there in the USA?

The Williams Institute at the UCLA School of Law, a sexual orientation law and public policy think tank, estimates that there are 8.8 million gay, lesbian, and bisexual persons in the U.S based on the 2005/2006 American Community Survey, an extension of the U.S. Census (Gary J. Gates, 2006, “Same-Sex Couples and the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual Population: New Estimates from the American Community Survey”).

The number of LGB persons in the U.S. is subjective. Studies pointing to the statistics are estimates at best. The most widely accepted statistic is that 1 in ever 10 individuals is LGB; however research shows that the number may be more like 1 in 20.

Of course, this all depends on one’s definition of gay? (which may vary by study) and the participant’s willingness to identify as GAY, BI, LESBIAN. So, why can’t the actual number of GLB people be counted? There are many thinks to consider when trying to count the number of GLBT persons. The biggest is most are still married with a wife and kids living a life of troubled times. “Walking on eggshells,” is what one married man said in our support group.

What do the experts say?
When asked about GLB population statistics, Gary J. Gates, a Senior Research Fellow at The Williams Institute on Sexual Orientation Law and Public Policy, says:
“That’s the single question that I’m asked the most. The answer is unfortunately not simple. I’ll respond with a question. What do you mean when you use the word ‘gay’? If you mean people who identify as gay, lesbian, or bisexual in a survey, then the answer is that it’s likely not one in ten, but closer to one in twenty. A recent government survey found that 4 percent of adults aged 18-45 identified as ‘homosexual’ or ‘bisexual.’ A similar proportion of voters identify as GLB. If you define gay as having same-sex attractions or behaviors, you do get higher proportions that are a bit closer to the one in ten figure.”

Is Gay In? Tell us what you think?
Dennis Schleicher - Best-Selling Author of;
Forbidden Love with a Married Man: E-mail Diaries

Why Gay Husbands Have Long Term Difficulty with Sex, Love, Romantic, and Suffer Rejection in Life
By Dennis Schleicher

This is now my 5th year working with Gay husbands, straight wives of gay men, and guys in love with gay married men, (The Other Man.) The difficulty gay men married men have sustaining serious, long-term romantic partnerships through the years that have kept many gay, or so-called Bi men in the closed form coming out as ‘gay.’ Up against society’s prejudice against homosexual love, I have observes, they’ve separated sex and love form their wives. As adolescents, gay men suffered the rejection of unrequited affection, but most formatively, they sustained emotional damage in childhood from paternal rejection and/or maternal inattentiveness to their feelings or disregard for their need for autonomy. The result is an inability to fall or stay in love, arising from deep-seated anxiety about dependency, lack of self-love and mistrust of another’s love that leads to gay, Bi, men feel and think that getting married to a women ‘will make them straight guys with wives.’

In the past 5 years I’ve analyzes dozens of case histories of chronically married gay male patients, tracing their attachment difficulties to childhood experiences with remote, rejecting or smothering parents. Though my married men’s support group being homosexual, weighs in on the same-sex marriage debate with the fear of coming out. Secondary argument—that the lack of a formally sanctioned structure further undermines gay commitment of a gay husband holds a real fear a complicated, cultural analysis will be frustrated.
The gay husbands will never find by his own reasoning the important emphasis on happiness found in a gay long term, loving relationships that can existed. The long term difficulty is the truth for any gay husband that will never come out of the closet and his mental health will be compromised for life as he lives a life of lies and dishonesty.

It is never too late to break free form a straight wife and let her free as you can find a romantic, loving gay relationship with no shame.

Be Safe-
Dennis
Forbidden Love with a Married Man: E-mail Diaries (Best-selling author of an explosives and controversial memoir )
Post your Options and Comments;

My Husband Says He’s Gay – What should I do? Is He Gay, Bi, or Needs Help?

Q: Dear Dennis, My husband of many years has just dropped the bomb that he’s attracted to men. I’m a mess but sort of frozen in my tracks. What should I do? What should I say?

A: As hard as it is for one partner in any relationship to come out to the other as gay or bisexual, receiving this news can be awful hard, too understand. No doubt, your husband gave this “Coming Out” conversation a lot of thought before he told you the truth. You could feel lucky that he was truthful about his coming out as a gay married husband. Often time the wife is left in the dark for every. I talk to many wives who have no clue or suspicion about a man or husband being gay.

As frozen or angry you could be feeling, my advice to you is to try and go ahead with your life, I know that’s easy said than doing. Consider contacting your local www.StraightSpouse.org or www.PFLAG.orgn (Parents Friends of Lesbians & Gays.)

Now it’s time to get a divorce. Get tested for any and all STD’s. Your not alone, as there’s a wealth of advice and so many other women or as I say “Straight Wives” out for you to talk with.

May I ask, why did he tell you that’s he is a gay man?

Be Safe-

Dennis Schleicher
Author of; Forbidden Love with a Married Man: E-mail Diaries
Send your questions to Dennis Schleicher @ DennisSchleicher@hotmail.com or visit our website, http://www.otherman.typepad.com/